I'm not exactly sure.

I'm not sure what is going on. The last time I posted I was furious about something that wasn't meant to be. I haven't talked to that guy since he told me his parents disapproved, so I'm just letting that go. One think I think I may know, is that there is a reason that this one guy keeps coming into my mind and keeps replying when I text him. I am not going to try to hard, because I don't want to lose what I do have with him. I'm just going to let what ever happens, happen. Que Sara Sara, whatever will be will be. That is my new modo. I am not going to let things get to me. Everything happens for a reason, and no matter what, I cannot change a thing. I can't go into the past, and I can't see into the future, I just have to take everything as it comes. QUE SARA SARA!

Age!

Why does age have to be such a big issue. Your parents have never met me, and they already disapprove of me? It's not even like our ages are that far. I'm turning 15 tomorrow and you will be 17 in September. Just under two years. I have dated guys older then you! What do they think is going to happen, what if we don't even like each other? Well we will never know now because your God Damned parents won't even let us go on a date! My mom, the queen of anti age difference is even letting us go on a date. Why are they so concerned about this. Even if something were to happen, you would be the one that would be allowed to walk away from it all, not me. If anything, I could help you, a lot. Screw parents! SIGH! Okay, can some guys get a hint. I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE! WE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THEN FRIENDS, I DON'T CARE IF YOU GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS, JUST STOP BUGGING ME. WHAT HAPPENES BETWEEN ME AND HIM IS NONE OF YOU GOD DAMNED BUSINESS. EITHER STOP BOTHERING ME OR GET MY FUCKING POINT I SWEAR. I WILL BLOCK YOU AND IF YOU DON'T STOP I WILL CALL THE COPS AND FILE A HARRASMENT CHARGE! SIGH!
I am so FUCKING pissed!

Okay, Okay, Okay:)

Dear you know who you are:),
I like you a lot, like you read this. You are special to me. I want to talk to you more. I want you to come over and hang out with you. I want to take things slow and just share happiness with you. I feel like a little kid harrasing you, but I cannot help it. I like talking to you. You make me smile. You give me rumbles in my tummy. My heart skips a beat when I see your name appear on my caller ID. I can't help the way I feel, and I feel like this toward you. God, text me! I want to talk to you SO BAD!

It's been a little while

So it's been almost two weeka since the last time I posted, like anyone cared. Remember how I told you I had this friend coming over that I really liked? Well he didn't end up coming over because he got into trouble. He drove 120 MPH down a highway and somehow is dad found out so he lost his driving privlages for two weeks. So I think we made plans for this weekend, but I'm not sure.... This past week I was in Orlando, Flordia, with my Godfather and his two Daughters. We had a blast we hit up, Blizzard Beach in Disney, Fort De Sodo on the Golf Coast, Spending time with some Great grandparents that are really cool, and a beautiful wedding. A few times I got irritated, but most of the time I was having an amazing time. I wish that maybe that boy will text me and that we will make the plans official:)

A busy week ahead!

So today is Wednesday and I have some great plans for a little while. I am hanging out with a friend;) this weekend and I am super excited for it. He is really cool and, really sweet and, ahhh;) I like him a lot On Sunday is Father Day UGH! and my mom is making dinner for my grandfather. Then on Monday I am going to South Carolina for a night so that my Uncle can pick me up so me, him, and his two girls can go to Flordia and have a blast. We're going  to a Disney Water park, Universal Studio's, Golf Coast, and a few other things then we're hitting up a wedding and heading home. I'm excited for this coming week it's going to be a ton of fun;)

A boy;)

Okay, so this is a post that wont be filled with SIGH's! This is a happy post. Would you like to know why? Well even if you answered no, I'm going to tell you. There is a boy;) that I am hanging out with this coming friday, and I have to say he is just amazing. Not only is he easy on the eyes, really easy, he has an actual soul. He has told me that he doesn't want to pressure me. Yes, he is a bit older then me, and I'm fine with that because you find guys like this one. I hope that I'm not jinksing this but I had to tell all of you non-readers. I am giggling, blushing, and smiling. Honestly, I haven't been this happy in a long while. I hope that everything will go good with this;)

It's been a while!

So it's been a while since I last wrote. I ended up getting an 85 as the grade on my Chemistry Final after test corrections. I got a 92 on my Algebra I exam and a 93 on my Algebra II exam. I got a 90 on my Civics and Economics exam. Last I got an 85 on my English I exam. Yay me. So glad that's over with! SIGH! So the last day of school came, and went. I cried pretty hard haha. I'm going to miss my friends all summer, and hope that somehow I will see them all again during the summer.SIGH! So the first week of summer has been fairly good. I cleaned and I dyed my hair. My best friend came over, and I have been having a lot of fun with her. My grandfathers birthday was today and we took him out to eat for it SIGH!. So I think I have a date for this Friday. I really like this guy. We meet a year ago, but I don't think he really remembers me. I like him a lot and he is a really great guy, I just hope that he doesn't expect anything from me. I definitely want to swap some spit if you know what I mean, but I don't want to go to far until I know I am really ready. SIGH! So I feel really bad for my friend. You see he told me a while ago that he felt extremely strongly for me and well I kind of lead him on thinking I liked him back like that. Well I told him a little later that I couldn't return his feelings because I didn't feel like that. Well now I know how he feels, you know when you want someone so badly, but you can't have them. SIGH! You see, I made up this guy. Well he is perfect to me, but you see my expectations for him are impossible.  So now I feel that whenever a guy wants to get closer, or I try to get closer to a guy I end up dropping a huge wall blocking them from me. SIGH! You see just over a year ago was when I broke up with this one boy that I was extremely serious about, well I decided I didn't want us to be broken up and he denied me back. I tried moving on, but I just couldn't, we got back together, but unofficially. He had a girlfriend at the time. that wasn't me.... After we 'split up' then we got into a lot of fights then this year, it started again, he kissed me and touched me and I liked it, but I felt neglected. He was putting me second and I began realizing that I should have been number one, to anyone, so slowly and surely I pulled myself away. Now I am suddenly wondering if that was the right thing to do because now I am left sitting here in a world where everyone has someone, but I have no one. SIGH! I hope that everything can work out between me and this one guy, so that I have someone. Life is just...sigh! I hope someone reads this somewhere so that I know someone cares.