Thinking....

So my friends always ask me "What's up?" just like everyone does when you're having a casual conversation, I always say "Thinking." So I thought that this blog can be all about what I am thinking about right now, as I am typing this.
The first thing on my mind is this guy Timothy. He seems like a really great guy, someone that I would want to be with. Well I have one problem, I don't have any clue how I should tell him that I like him, because well you see, every time I tell a guy that I like him it always seems to blow up. Like he says, "I don't want a relationship." "I don't like you like that." "How can you like me when you barely know me." that type of thing and I really want to tell this guy that I like him, but I am terrified to tell him straight forward that I like him, because I don't want it blowing up in my face. Ugh! Why do I always have to be the one that falls for the guys, why can't they fall for me first? I don't know why I am worried about this now, I mean I am only fifteen, I have lots of time before me, but I just, i don't know, I suddenly felt the urge to tell him that I feel this way towards him, I hope that everything works out and that when I do tell him, that he feels the same way and that I don't have to have my heart broken again. (Wow if there ever were a run on sentence.)
The second thing on my mind is my brother, because, I love him, I really do, and I know that he is 21 and can make is own decisions, I mean he is an adult, but I am worrying so much about him. We went through so much when he first started drinking, then he got sober, and I was so emencly proud of him, I really was, I idolized my brother because he was so strong and was able to get out of his funk, I wished that I could do the same when I got older and I go through such a rough time.
The third thing is this guy Nick. He is a great guy and had at one point fallen head over heels for me. I think he was the only one who has ever really done that, but I didn't feel the same way for him, like the other guys. I was terribly sorry for hurting him like I had been hurt. Now he has the audacity to say that I am not sorry for anything. He is someone I trust and that I feel comfortable going to and talking to about everything I feel. but now I am questioning whether that is the right thing to do with him. I hate this feeling shit. I want it gone, now.